


live a day with a tiny reason

by dracometria



Category: TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Graduation, High School Senior Huening Kai, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, University Student Choi Soobin, soft, sookai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:07:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22034539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dracometria/pseuds/dracometria
Summary: Choi Soobin is literally swept off his feet when he meets Huening Kai.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Huening Kai
Comments: 19
Kudos: 133





	live a day with a tiny reason

**Author's Note:**

> (i had to repost this because it wasn't showing up right ;_; it's the second time i ran into this bug eek )
> 
> this is a sensitive topic so i'll keep it short! this fic was inspired from the video in this [twt](https://twitter.com/megawatip_/status/1210961845810368512?s=21)  
> warning: the video features an actor pretending to try to jump over the bridge  
> (if the link is ever broken, feel free to message me - i have the video saved)
> 
> this fic does not involve suicide in any way other than a misunderstanding, but mental health and suicide are not light topics. my messages are open if you ever need someone to talk to. 
> 
> ages:  
> soobin - 20, university sophomore  
> huening kai - 18, high school senior (graduate by the end)  
> taehyun - 18, high school senior (graduate by the end)  
> beomgyu - 19, university freshman  
> yeonjun - 21, university junior

Soobin sniffles. Ah, really. Why is it so cold? He draws his jacket tighter around himself. His scarf is flapping wildly from the fierce wind. 

He smiles pitifully at himself. He really didn’t pick the best time to come out to mope. He thought a walk would clear his mind, but it’s freezing outside. 

He sighs and leans over the railing. The river beneath the bridge seems calm. The moon is reflected beautifully over it, and Soobin is admiring the view when his scarf is whipped over his face by the wind. Annoyed, he goes to brush it back when his ring is caught on the end. In a truly clumsy manner, the ring is yanked loose and Soobin watches in horror as it falls into the river. He reflexively reaches out to grab it, when all of a sudden, he’s knocked to the ground by someone.

He gasps for air, completely winded. 

“You can’t!” he hears someone say. A mittened hand finds his and boosts him up, and his gaze connects with a pair of the warmest brown eyes he’d ever seen. Warm, and…wet with tears? “You can’t,” the stranger repeats himself, his cheeks rosy from the cold. He doesn’t let go of his hand; instead, the stranger tugs him over to a bench nearby. 

Soobin doesn’t know if it’s from shock or something else, but he lets it all happen. 

“What’s your name?” the stranger says gently, and he looks at Soobin so earnestly that Soobin thinks the boy could have asked for anything from him and Soobin would have given it to him willingly. 

“Choi Soobin.”

“Hi Soobin-ssi, I’m Huening Kai,” the boy introduces himself, then starts to fuss with Soobin’s coat. “It’s cold outside, why aren’t you zipped all the way up?” 

Soobin numbly looks down at himself and realizes that he missed one of the inner zippers. Oh. he hadn’t noticed, that would explain why he felt so cold... The boy—Huening Kai—takes off his mittens before zipping it up for him. Soobin blinks as Kai fits his hands with his mittens—he hadn’t brought his own because he thought he would be fine with just tucking his hands in his pockets, but thinking about it, if he had, then this whole situation wouldn’t have happened. 

“Soobin-ssi,” Kai says, and oh, Soobin has Kai’s undivided attention again. “I don’t know what made you want to do that, but do you want to talk about it? I’ll stay here with you, however long you need.” 

Soobin’s flustered as he rewinds the last minute, realizing where the misunderstanding started. He averts his eyes in embarrassment. How was he supposed to phrase this? 

To say he’s surprised when Huening Kai cups his face with his hands—still warm—is an understatement. “Look at me,” Kai says, and Soobin does, he looks at this boy with the artfully tousled brown hair and doe brown eyes and an expressive face. He supposes he noticed it in an off-hand manner earlier, but now there’s no avoiding it, Huening Kai happens to be a breathtakingly gorgeous stranger who thinks he was trying to jump off the bridge. 

“Don’t do this. Talk to me. What’s on your mind?” 

Soobin freezes. How many times has he heard that? _Talk to me. Are you ok?_

 _I’m fine,_ he’ll say, _I’ll talk to you later._

But he hasn’t gotten around to talking. And he really is fine most days, but every once in a while he’ll feel overwhelmed with everything he has on his plate and he’ll feel frustrated with himself for not being able to keep up. 

Soobin’s mortified to find that he’s tearing up, and Kai seems to sense that he’s uncomfortable, because he pulls him into a hug and rubs his back soothingly. Soobin briefly leans into the embrace—he really hadn’t felt lonely until now, until a stranger showed him what he was missing.

Soobin laughs helplessly before clearing his throat. He can’t let this continue, no matter how comforted he feels. “This was a misunderstanding. I wasn’t trying to jump.” 

Kai releases the hug, but he keeps his hand at Soobin’s back. He looks suspiciously at Soobin. “What do you mean?” 

“My ring slipped off my finger. I guess I tried to reach for it by reflex, but it was already long gone.” Soobin raised a hand to show Kai, only to be flustered when he saw that he still had Kai’s mitten on. He tried to remove it, but Kai held his hand and shook his head. 

“It’s fine, you keep them for now. It’s cold outside.” He stands, and wow, he’s tall—he’s only an inch shorter than Soobin, if that. And Soobin was _tall._ Kai smiles, a bit awkward but still genuine. “I’m glad you’re ok, Soobin-ssi. But it would make me feel better if I gave you my number.” He tilts his head innocently, and Soobin feels like Kai sees right through him. “You can talk to me whenever. I want to be there for you if you ever need someone.” He reaches his hand out, and without thinking about it, Soobin hands him his phone. 

Huening Kai quickly enters his phone number and hands Soobin’s phone back. “Keep warm, Soobin-ssi,” he says. “If you don’t mind, I have to go, I was supposed to be studying with my friend.” 

“Of course. Thank you,” Soobin says. “I—I really appreciate what you did.” 

He doesn’t think he can forget Kai’s slow smile, the way it reaches his eyes and lights up his face. 

* * *

The first time Soobin calls Huening Kai is a week after they exchange numbers. Well, Kai calling Soobin would be more accurate. 

Their message history isn’t really interesting. Soobin sent Kai a text so Kai could save his number and be assured that he was doing fine. They make some small talk and not much else.

But it’s only a week into the new semester and Soobin is already running behind. He’s the president of the student government, a teaching assistant, on the starting lineup of the varsity tennis team, _and_ he has to work. All on top of classes.

He feels that there isn’t enough hours in the day to do everything. And he _wants_ to do everything. He wants to make his family proud, he loves all of his commitments, and he has high expectations of himself. He’s tired of hearing that he should drop something. He doesn’t _want_ to. 

It’s midnight and Huening Kai should be asleep, but he texts him anyway. He’s surprised when he immediately receives a text back asking if he’s available to call. Soobin’s barely just finished replying with a _yes_ when his phone starts ringing.

“Huening Kai-ssi?”

“What?” Kai sounds sleepy, and that tugs on Soobin’s heart. “Just Kai is fine. My friends call me Hyuka or Ning Ning, that’s fine too~ Let’s be comfortable with each other.”

“Ok,” Soobin says, “In that case, you can call me Soobin-hyung then.” He learned recently that Kai was still a senior in high school; Soobin had always thought Kai was a university student like him.

“Ok Soobin-hyung,” Kai says warmly, and Soobin catches himself smiling inadvertently. “I’m listening.” 

And he does. He listens to Soobin rant about his academic and social life and all of his frustrations, and at the end of it all, he asks, “Well, what do _you_ want to do? What can _you_ do about it?” 

And he listens when Soobin starts shakily listing things he could do to improve his schedule, and Soobin realizes he’s had agency all along, he’d just been too stressed to notice. 

At the end of the call, he thanks him, and Kai joking says Soobin owes him mint chocolate ice cream for making him stay up late. 

Of course they get into an argument about whether or not mint chocolate was a good flavor right afterwards, and Soobin thinks he might—

He might be starting to like Kai. 

(As a friend?) 

(He does end up having the mint chocolate ice cream sent to Kai’s house though, and the younger spams him with thankful texts afterwards.) 

* * *

Soobin learns a few things about Huening Kai.

Kai’s still deciding which university to go to, already having been accepted to his top choices. His best friend’s name is Taehyun and he’s a genius. He really likes plushies and grape juice. His texts are littered with emojis, and if Soobin had to use one word to describe him, it would be “cute.” Huening Kai is a very cute person, and energetic in a way Soobin wasn’t able to see when they first met. 

Soobin’s friends tease him lightly for texting someone who still hadn’t graduated yet, but it’s Yeonjun who surprises them all. 

“Oh, Kai? I know him and his parents, we used to hang out a lot when we were younger. He’s like my cute little brother.” He grins mischievously. “Should I message him to see what’s going on between you guys?” 

Soobin smacks Yeonjun with his binder. “Don’t you dare.”

Yeonjun’s eyes crinkle as he smiles. Soobin may not have noticed the change in himself, but everyone else had. He was happier, freer, and he stopped walking around like he wore a too-heavy burden on his shoulders.

Whatever Huening Kai is doing, Yeonjun wouldn’t interfere. He’ll just let the boy work his magic.

* * *

The texts turn into calls, the calls turn into longer calls, and the longer calls turn into meetups. Somewhere in between Soobin meets Taehyun, and Kai meets Beomgyu and reconnects with Yeonjun. On occasion they all hang out together, but more often than not, Soobin is with Kai. Even when they’re busy, they find time in their schedule to at least do work together (though Kai is considerably less busy than Soobin is, and sometimes while Soobin’s working the younger will be playing video games, or a guitar if he happens to bring it, or the piano if they’re over at Kai’s). 

(Soobin likes it the most when Kai plays the piano, it helps him focus, but at the same time he gets distracted watching Kai play, seeing how absorbed he gets and it’s just absolutely mesmerizing.) 

They also visit a lot of street stalls, cafes, and restaurants, courtesy of Soobin’s food addiction. Kai’s terrible at talking and eating at the same time, and sometimes Soobin has to nudge him to remind him that he needed to eat, because they’ll get into long conversations and Kai would get distracted talking while his food got cold. He thinks it’s kind of cute that Kai can’t multitask well. 

* * *

Huening Kai and Taehyun decide to attend the same university Soobin, Yeonjun, and Beomgyu are attending; the former because of the stellar music program, the latter because he received a full scholarship. Funny how the world worked sometimes.

The older three manage to all make it to Kai’s and Taehyun’s graduation, and before Kai is whisked away by his family, he drags Soobin to the side. 

“Ok,” Kai says, “Now that I’ve graduated, will you go out with me?”

Soobin stares at him, dumbfounded. “What?” he says intelligently.

Kai’s blushing. “Unless I read this all wrong, and you don’t actually like me…” 

“Kai, I—” he tenderly holds Kai’s hand up to his face. He definitely likes Kai. He really, really likes him. He likes him so much he never wants to ruin this closeness between them; he values Kai’s friendship so highly. To hear that Kai likes him back makes his heart race. But… “What do you mean, now that you’ve graduated?” 

Kai furrows his brows. “I thought you didn’t want to go out with me because I was still in high school.” 

Soobin can’t help himself, he laughs. “No, that’s not why.” Soobin looks at Kai with so much fondness that the younger wants to melt. “I wasn’t sure if you were interested. Though, in hindsight…” Soobin smiles wryly. He supposes that “friends” wouldn’t spend all their spare time cuddling or always finding excuses to be physically affectionate.

“I thought I made it pretty obvious that I liked you,” Kai pouted. 

“Guess we’re both a little slow,” Soobin teases, and he really wants to kiss Kai, but his family and the rest of their friends are barely a few feet away and he’s not sure he can handle the ensuing chaos. Instead, he says, “Want to go to that bridge tonight? After we’re all done celebrating.” 

Kai smiles and presses a shy kiss against Soobin’s hand before dropping it. “Ok, see you there, Soobinie.” 

(Kai’s family erupts and their friends start yelling, and Soobin sighs. He can’t bring himself to be annoyed though, not with the way Kai gives him one last adoring look before heading towards them.) 

* * *

“I can’t believe this has to be the official story of how we met,” Kai groans as they hold hands near the railing. It’s late, so there’s no one around. “No one takes me seriously when I say I tackled you to the ground because I thought you were going to jump.” 

Soobin chuckles. He doesn’t mind at all, because every time Kai explains, he’s reminded of how caring he is—to have been so concerned about a stranger that he practically bowled them over. 

He softly cups Kai’s face with his spare hand. “The first time we met here, it was cold.” It’s warm now, even at night, and the breeze is pleasant. “You gave me your mittens because you were so worried.” 

Kai smiles and leans his cheek into his hand. “You still have them.” 

“You refuse to let me give them back,” Soobin says dryly. “I like them, though, so I’m keeping them.” He brushes his nose against Kai’s. “And I like you, so I’m keeping you.” 

Kai’s blushing—but he’s not done yet. 

“When I get overwhelmed, I always think of you. If I needed a reason to continue, you were always enough. Huening Kai, I’m pretty sure I love you,” he confesses, and he _finally_ kisses Kai, holding him firmly against the railing. 

Kai responds enthusiastically, inexperienced but determined; their lips meld together perfectly and they breathe as one. 

When Soobin finally pulls away, Kai looks thoroughly ravished and dazed. His eyes are shining as he quickly gives Soobin another soft peck on the lips. 

“I think I love you too, Soobinie,” he says simply, and he doesn’t need to explain; Soobin _knows_ through Kai’s actions, the soft looks when they’re alone, the familiar way they slot together, the way Kai always plays his favorite songs on the piano. 

“That night, I was thinking about what to say to you. About the reasons why you should keep living. Soobinie, if I had to live each day with a reason, it would be you.” 

Huening Kai manages to devastate and save him at all at once, and it’s this rare maturity that Kai displays at times that Soobin also loves as a part of him.

Soobin presses his forehead against Kai’s. 

He’s so, so lucky to have met him. 

* * *

_If you really want to do it,_

_Today’s sunshine is so bright to do that,_

_Today’s meal was so good to do that._

_Live a day with a single, tiny reason._

**Author's Note:**

> the last part was taken from the video! it left some lasting impact on me, even if it was staged, the reaction was genuine and i hope that we can understand that sometimes people need a little empathy.
> 
> that being said, this was one of my favorite fics to write,,, it's special to me! ; ; 
> 
> (it hits different when you realize hyuka has actually said this to soobin before: "You can come talk to me whenever. I really want to be there for you if you'd ever need.")
> 
> i hope everyone will enjoy the upcoming new year! thank you for commenting and leaving me messages, they always make my day ;_;♡


End file.
